Saturday, November 17, 2007

No Irish Need Apply*

Welcome to Happy Valley, where the topic on everyone's mind is....that's right, marriage! It seems like you can't turn around anymore without some priesthood leader telling you that you ought to be dating like a banshee (however banshees date...) so you can find your E.C. (that's Eternal Companion) and getting married and have a dozen kids (which is the subject for another rant entirely). Some people make long lists of characteristics they're looking for in a mate, others buy the "love conquers all" routine. Some people seek out a significant other aggressively, others figure they'll deal with a relationship "if it happens." And always, always the question is asked: "What are you looking for in a spouse?"
I'm all for being unconventional, so I like to mix up the question a bit. I once asked my friend Brady what he thought I was looking for in a husband. I reproduce his comments here
(without permission from the copyright owner...but he doesn't have the time or the means to sue me, so it's probably okay):

"What do
you want? Well, this is what I think. I suppose tall, dark, and handsome would be nice (but not required), and skinny if I remember you correctly. You would prefer someone who is thoughtful, well read, intelligent (you are not noted for your patience), and someone who is not easily offended (you'll tease him mercilessly I imagine) with a good sense of humor (he'll tease you back sometimes but carefully). You will need someone more patient than you are and stronger too. The patience so that when you get upset, he can address your concerns without losing his temper (though he will have one). The strength so that when you are spent, you can lean on him for support. I think you need someone who is wise and gentle to balance some of your sharp edges, but he will be a passionate man as you are a passionate woman. Beside all of this he will be a man of faith in the Lord with a strong testimony, very much like yourself. His hobbies and interests are not nearly as relevant to the relationship, but the nature of social interaction is such that you will probably meet and fall in love with someone who will probably share a broad range of your interests. This will minimize fighting over what do to on your dates. He will be a little romantic; he will leave notes for you to find and flowers by your bedside. He will love your children but he will love you more, and he will use any means necessary to protect and defend his family. This man will never enjoy going to work as much as he does coming home. He will be attracted to you long after you think you are not attractive. He won't be afraid to say he is at fault or ask for your forgiveness (don't be miserly with the forgiveness).

P.S. He ought to think he is the luckiest guy in the world that he caught you before someone else could."

I think he did a pretty good job. So consider this a job posting. If you know anyone who fits the above criteria, I'm now accepting applications for Amy's Future Eternal Companion.

Edit: For those of you who can't hear my voice, please understand that my tone here is joking, except that I really do think Brady did a great job describing me. That's what this "list" (if it can even be called that) boils down to: a description of what's important to me. And if a girl can't give a description of what is legitimately important to her without being attacked for being an unreasonable twit, then I'm awfully sorry. Please vent your anger somewhere else.

* Irish are totally welcome to apply. I'm Irish myself, in fact. Maybe "No Creeps Need Apply."

1 comment:

  1. Your brothers must not know about your blog yet.