Monday, May 4, 2009

The Meaning of All Things

I don't have sufficient words to express the pain and hurt I am feeling right now. I feel abandoned, betrayed, cast aside, unwanted, and unlovable.

I know that God weeps when His children suffer. Enoch saw the Lord's pain at His children's sorrow: "And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept" (Moses 7:28). Christ also wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, because of the love He had for him (John 11:35).

I don't have all the answers. I don't understand the reasons why the Lord calls us to experience great pain. With Nephi, "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). I know that my Heavenly Parents long to embrace me, to enfold me in Their perfect love. I know that They have perfect understanding and perfect empathy, that They weep with me in my sorrow. And I love Them for it. I know that Their Son was willing to experience my pain so that He could succor me according to my infirmities (Alma 7:12). And I love Him for it. I know that God loves me, but I do not know the meaning of all things.

4 comments:

  1. I don't know the pain you are feeling, but I know what it's like to feel that the world will never be right again--cannot possibly be right again. In those moments of deepest sorrow, I have felt the Savior's omnipotent influence, His guidance, His love. He has taken my shattered life and pieced it together so perfectly that no scars remain. I'm truly sorry you are having such difficulty, but I know (as you said in your post) that Jesus Christ will succor you according to your infirmities, your heartaches, your wounds. Keep praying and know that you are loved more than you could ever fathom. Let me echo your post and say that there is one Being will never fail you. I wish you peace, comfort and healing.

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  2. I remember a couple of times in Jerusalem when I was feeling particularly alone and betrayed, and I still don't understand why I had to go through those experiences, but I remember my good friend Amy who was there to support me; and perhaps one purpose for my trials was to meld our friendship. I love you Amy!

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  3. And I love you too Amy. I have felt this way at times and I think we all do at times. I do know that at times like these that I need to remember the love that I have felt in the past from others and from my Father in Heaven. I do have to remember to recall upon the time when my Heavenly Father spoke peace to my mind. I will always love you and your Heavenly Father loves you more than you or I will ever know.

    I love you,
    Dad

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  4. I have just finished reading the Mother in Heaven post..thank you for speaking of her out loud.Thank you for being brave and heart felt. Thank you for daring to speak of them.I have asked others about her..other blogs they have yet to answer my questions.I'll be looking up the scripture you cited.

    I'm sorry to hear that you seem to be hurting right now.I hope that it passes and that you find strength..to endure what you are going through.

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